ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
