i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
