Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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