i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
