I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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