Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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