if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
