I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
