I cockslap morals
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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