Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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