OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
