Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize