so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
