SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
