i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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