You're so nebulous sometimes
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
