that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
