I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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