I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
