He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
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