I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
