It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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