How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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