Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
