I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Randomize
