the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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