Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
