fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
