This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
