cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
is wine microwaveable?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
