wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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