Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I wish you could order shots online.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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