Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
