I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
