I only kidnapped one of them. chill
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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