My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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