well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
