I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
