Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i barfeds in our rink
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize