Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
