Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
