i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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