You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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