Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
