Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
