he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
