Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
he puts the penis in happiness.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
