sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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