Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Too much gin, very little bucket
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
