Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
