Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
