The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
