I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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