It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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