i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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