Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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