I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
