Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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