It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
