And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
