last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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