And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i drank out of a bidet.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
