i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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