i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
