I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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