I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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