I cannot find my penis.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
