come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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