hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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