I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
