look no pants
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
