when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
