She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
