I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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